Choosing to stay in Yemen: One Christian student’s journey as a light in dark places

Zaid, a university student in Yemen, did everything he could to earn God’s acceptance. Yet he lived with a constant fear: one mistake could cost him eternity. As he wrestled with what awaited him after death, he began questioning everything he had always known – a search that led him beyond Islam, through addiction and grief, and finally to Christ.

How it all began: Fear and searching

Zaid grew up in a conservative Muslim home in Yemen, taught that how God felt about him depended on how well he lived up to his responsibilities.

“You have to pray, and if you don’t pray, God will not love you, and you will end up in the fire, being burned like a chicken on a roaster,” he says, thinking back to how he was raised.

“I wanted God to love me and be pleased with me so that I could guarantee a life after death. I dived into Islamic studies and read and memorised parts of the Quran. I wholeheartedly defended Islam online and wanted people to know that Islam is the only way.

“However, deep down, I wasn’t very convinced myself.”

At 16, one night, after his nighttime prayers, Zaid stared at the starry sky and wondered: Will I go to paradise? Is it guaranteed? Then a darker thought followed: Why did this vengeful God create me? he wondered. He wanted me here to pray and do these rituals continuously, and then one day die?

Zaid realised he had no guarantees of a good life after death, and this thought haunted him. “I started to doubt everything, including this religion that I grew up practising to its core,” he says.

So began his search for the truth.

A growing void

Those questions led him to explore other beliefs and religions he had heard about and to test his own faith. Zaid eventually stopped reading the Quran or praying. He had left Islam, which left a void in his heart.

“Although I felt like a heavy rock was lifted off my chest – no more obligations to follow blindly – the confusion remained,” he says.

But he knew there was the real truth somewhere, and he wanted and needed to find it.

Yet as he continued to explore, the emptiness only grew. “I began reading a little about Judaism, then a little bit about Christianity, then a little about Atheism. Rummaging through Facebook, YouTube, search engines … I needed to find answers, something that could fill this growing void.”

It was a challenging time for Zaid, and he turned to various things in an attempt to fill the emptiness. “I began using khat [a mild stimulant drug widely used and legal in Yemen],” he says. I slowly slipped into laziness. I had no sense of purpose. I used bad words, kept bad company, and the void only grew. My mental health also deteriorated. I started not only taking drugs but also smuggling them. I was completely lost.”

Amid the civil war devastating Yemen, his best friend, who had listened to his questions but also encouraged his drug use, died.

“When I knew he was gone, I was devastated,” Zaid remembers. “I was tired. I was empty … there was no one there beside me. I sat alone with my pain and my worries.”

Zaid continued his search for truth, living an empty life, growing more hopeless by the day.

That’s when Jesus found him.

Encountering Jesus amid doubt

As he grieved, Zaid kept learning about Christianity.

“My idea of Christians was very distorted,” he explains. “To me, Christians were infidels. They believed in three gods, and they ate pigs’ meat … in short, nasty people. They were our enemies. But what I found online was intriguing.”

Online, he tried to attack Christians, debating with them, and when he was losing a debate, he would curse them to see their reaction.

Their response struck him…

“The thing that attracted me to them was their love. They had love and would not curse me back!”

“Slowly, I began to listen to understand and not to argue,” he says. “The idea that God loved us, that He created us in His image, and that He sent his son to die for us were all new thoughts and truths for me.”

One night, before he went to sleep, Zaid asked God: “If you exist in Christianity, tell me, and I will come to you. If you exist, tell me: Where are you? Save me.”

That night, and for several consecutive nights after, Zaid dreamed the same dream.

“I was in a lush, green garden, and I saw a strong light shining. This light was approaching me, and then a voice said, ‘I left the 99, and I came for you.’ I woke up, startled,” Zaid shares, with tears in his eyes as he recalls the vivid dream. “I opened my phone, and a photo appeared on my screen: a lush, green garden and a figure of Jesus standing there with sheep surrounding him … In that moment, I felt like the world stopped.”

“I felt a joy unspeakable. I discovered God! … Jesus was God!”

Zaid’s journey with the Lord had begun.

A public baptism

Zaid was desperate to learn more about Jesus. “I downloaded a Bible app and started reading,” he says. “I thank God that He revealed Himself to me. He saved me from the darkness that I was sinking into.” He also contacted Christians online, as there are no public churches in Yemen.

“For a year and a half, I went on a discipleship journey … Through WhatsApp, I constantly texted with a brother named Alaa* [an Open Doors partner]. I never met him … I didn’t even hear his voice …We only texted due to security constraints. But I wanted to get whatever I could.”

Eventually, Zaid wanted to get baptised, so Alaa arranged for a brother who lived nearby to baptise him – a risk that, if either were caught, could mean prison or death.

Zaid getting baptised.“I met the man [sent by Alaa] in a public street,” Zaid remembers. “We walked together to a public pool … the pool was crowded with people … The man asked me two simple questions [about my faith], then he baptised me – in and out of the water, and we left right away. I didn’t see him after that. That was the first time I met a Christian face-to-face in Yemen.”

The transformation in Zaid’s life was obvious. He felt like a new creation – freed from his addiction, with his mental health restored.

But in Yemen, that meant the danger had only just begun.

A new life in Christ amid family opposition

Zaid told his family about his new faith.

“I had brought a Bible home and kept it in my room. When my dad saw it, he asked me if I was collecting these … I told him that I had become a Christian … and that I had left Islam.”

As a religious figure, Zaid’s father saw his son’s leaving Islam as a disgrace to the family, and to them, he was now an infidel.

“[My father] beat me badly,” he says. “I had bruises all over my body. It was the first time he had ever laid hands on me … Eventually, my oldest brother interceded. That was when I was kicked out.”

His parents’ final words to him: “[They told me,] ‘When you come back to your sane mind, come back. Do not tell anyone that you’ve become a Christian; you’ll ruin our reputation. What a disgrace.’”

Their words cut deep.

Wandering the streets, lost and confused, Zaid asked himself, “Is this new faith worth it?” Is everything I’m going through worth it?

“I spent days in the streets; I even slept on the road … In those difficult days, His [God’s] provision captured me. I knew that Jesus was worth all this pain.”

Zaid contacted two university friends whom he had told about Christ, and they decided to rent an apartment in another town – a miracle in itself.

Amid a difficult situation, God changed everything.

Staying to be a light like Paul

In this new town, God provided Zaid with a job and connected him to a local church, where he “discipled many people; we would baptise new believers, meet with serious seekers face-to-face, and walk on journeys of discipleship with those chasing hope.”

After a period of active ministry, Zaid felt God wanted him to do something new and different among the Yemenis.

“My vision is to live like Paul,” Zaid explains. “He was surrounded by Pharisees; I’m surrounded by extremists. Yet, Paul changed his community … with and through God. I want to be a mirror that reflects Jesus. By the grace of God, I strive to deliver the Word of God to all the people around me, whether they accept it or not. I’m spreading the seeds; there are many kinds of soil, but I try to do my role.”

“I pray that Yemen changes, that God will rule this country and not Satan. I remain with my family … They live in darkness, and I need them to be well … There is no peace when the Prince of Peace doesn’t reign.”

You can be part of this work.

Strengthen what remains

With the help of Open Doors local partners, Zaid is starting a discipleship house for new believers, a safe place where they can meet, live together, and be discipled day after day.

“The population of Yemen is 40 million,” Zaid says. “My vision is to have 40 000 active house churches. We want to reach a stage where we have one house church for every 1 000 Yemenis … “

Zaid and other Christians in Yemen rely on your support and prayers for this. “We are very much encouraged when we know that we have brothers and sisters who are praying for us. The strongest thing that we own is our prayers.”

“I know that He [God] will protect us,” Zaid says. “We should go to the dark places. We are the light, and we carry the light inside us. We should [reflect] the light within us.”

Zaid asks you to pray with him and other leaders in Yemen.

“Pray for peace, not only peace from war but spiritual peace,” he asks. “We want Jesus to reign over Yemen. May God open the eyes of the people to see Him. May the Lord continue His work and give me the strength to lead the ministry He called me to do.”

“Honestly, as a normal person, I’m afraid, yes. But if we don’t take risks, we won’t be able to reach out to our communities. Even the disciples risked a lot, faced persecution, they were killed, beaten up, monitored, but because of their sacrifices, the Word of God reached us. Someday, the police might take me, or someone might kill me, but God will be with me.”

*Names changed for security reasons.